3 Virgins
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop". Mom blushed but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband`s cigarettes and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long King Size". She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Airways". Mom took out her latest Harper`s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst and finally found the ad for British Airways. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways." Mom fainted...
MFM Joker Corner 2
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1. Be nice to each other and respect the moderators. Post in normal font size, color and weight. Follow Nettiquette
2. NO abuse, profanity and insults
3. NO debate on political, religious, racial and sexual matters
4. NO pornographic or nudity picture/video
5. NO spamming, cross posting and opening of duplicate topics
6. NO advertisement post or link
7. NO post/link to warez, cracks, serials or illegally obtained copyrighted content
8. Each message posted is owned by and is the opinion of the original poster. Neither mfm nor its owner or moderators are legally responsible for anything posted on the forum.
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raymondsgt
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:13 am
Re: MFM Joker Corner 2
What did the doctor say to the prostitute when she complained no hair would grow on her vagina?
--> did you ever see grass grow on a busy high way?
--> did you ever see grass grow on a busy high way?
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raymondsgt
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:13 am
Re: MFM Joker Corner 2
The Taste Test
A blind man walks into a dinner and sits down at a booth. The Waiter walks up to his table.
"What can I get you today?" says the Waiter.
"I have a kind of strange request." says the blind man.
"What’s that?" says the Waiter.
"Can I have the unwashed fork of the person you waited on before me?" says the blind man.
The waiter thinks for a minute.
"Um ok" says the waiter.
The Waiter brings the blind man the fork and the blind man slips it into his mouth. He sucks on it for a short time.
"The meat loaf and mash potatoes are delicious I’ll have that" says the blind man.
The waiter is grossed out but also impressed he was right about the dish. The blind man eats tips very well and leaves. The blind man comes back the next two days in a row with the same request and both times he was correct about the dish of the person before him. The next day when he arrives the Waiter notices him walking in.
"Jenny, Jenny" the Waiter says flagging down a Waitress he works with.
"This time I wanna have some fun with this fun. Here put this into your panties." He says as he hands Jenny a fork. Jenny giggles and does as he asked. He walks but to the table with the fork in hand ready for the blind mans daily request. The blind man as always asks for the fork of the person waited on before him. The Waiter hands him the fork fighting his laughter. The blind man pops in into his mouth.
"hmmmmm." says the blind man sucking the fork for a short time
"I had no idea Jenny worked here!"
A blind man walks into a dinner and sits down at a booth. The Waiter walks up to his table.
"What can I get you today?" says the Waiter.
"I have a kind of strange request." says the blind man.
"What’s that?" says the Waiter.
"Can I have the unwashed fork of the person you waited on before me?" says the blind man.
The waiter thinks for a minute.
"Um ok" says the waiter.
The Waiter brings the blind man the fork and the blind man slips it into his mouth. He sucks on it for a short time.
"The meat loaf and mash potatoes are delicious I’ll have that" says the blind man.
The waiter is grossed out but also impressed he was right about the dish. The blind man eats tips very well and leaves. The blind man comes back the next two days in a row with the same request and both times he was correct about the dish of the person before him. The next day when he arrives the Waiter notices him walking in.
"Jenny, Jenny" the Waiter says flagging down a Waitress he works with.
"This time I wanna have some fun with this fun. Here put this into your panties." He says as he hands Jenny a fork. Jenny giggles and does as he asked. He walks but to the table with the fork in hand ready for the blind mans daily request. The blind man as always asks for the fork of the person waited on before him. The Waiter hands him the fork fighting his laughter. The blind man pops in into his mouth.
"hmmmmm." says the blind man sucking the fork for a short time
"I had no idea Jenny worked here!"
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raymondsgt
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:13 am
Re: MFM Joker Corner 2
Cat And Sausage
One day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past....the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the cat was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. The moral or the story is.............the bigger the sausage....the wetter the pussy!
One day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past....the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the cat was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. The moral or the story is.............the bigger the sausage....the wetter the pussy!
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silverbeauty
- Moderator
- Posts: 3526
- Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:29 pm
- Location: Sin-Ka-Pu-Ra Garmin Nüvi1350, 3790T, Fenix, eTrex HcX Panasonic ICE+Garmin Samsung Note3 Apple iPad3
Re: MFM Joker Corner 2
Shopping in China
A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happen if this does not work?'
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, ‘GUARANTEE NO SPOILT’
Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel.
He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.
He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, “Brother, you are in China. We read from the Right to the Left!”](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall")
A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happen if this does not work?'
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, ‘GUARANTEE NO SPOILT’
Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel.
He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.
He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, “Brother, you are in China. We read from the Right to the Left!”
Re: MFM Joker Corner 2
SMART QUOTES
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only screwing yourself.
Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of society; but always remember who laid them!!!
Money is just like an arse .. everybody has it, but ... nobody wants to give it !!!
Men play the game. Women know the score.
Wives are funny creatures .... Wives don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does. !?!?
(This one gives you the inspiration to live)
Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
Here is the definition of divorce ... She gets the ring and the man gets the finger !!!
Confucius says .. man who puts hand in bush is not always a gardener !!!
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only screwing yourself.
Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of society; but always remember who laid them!!!
Money is just like an arse .. everybody has it, but ... nobody wants to give it !!!
Men play the game. Women know the score.
Wives are funny creatures .... Wives don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does. !?!?
(This one gives you the inspiration to live)
Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
Here is the definition of divorce ... She gets the ring and the man gets the finger !!!
Confucius says .. man who puts hand in bush is not always a gardener !!!
sista kissnight
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