My ASEAN Free GPS Map Project

Early this year on the way back from Cameron Highlang we stop at the stall where orang asli selling durian, we knows that the durian is not as good as what we can get in KL since my mother in law want to eat the durian so we stop and ask for the price. Conversation begins :-

My Mrs : Ini satu longgok berapa ?

Orang asli : RM 20

There is only 3 longgok of durians and smaller in size ,so my mrs start to bargin.

My mrs : 3 longgok RM45 boleh ka ?

Orang asli : Murah sangat tu penat saya naik turun bukit.

My Mrs : OK lah RM50 saya ambil semua. (3 longgok)

Orang asli : Kalau akak ambil semua saya mau meniaga apa ?

My mrs and all of us : and end up

~~~ ~~~

That's a good one Rona...

This is a little long but good....

What Starts with F and ends with K


A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'


Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.


While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the
boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog
does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'

~~~ ~~~

I answer wrongly

what women would do if they had a penis for a day


10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next
to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......

I bet I can bite both of my eyes

A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye." The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it.

He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.

moeyhc wrote:I bet I can bite both of my eyes

A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye." The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it.

He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.

Suatu hari di Lebuhraya Utara Selatan.

Sebuah Perodua Kelisa tersadai di sebelah lane kecemasan. Seorang lelaki tua mundar mandir cuba menahan kereta meminta bantuan. Tak ada sebuah kereta pun berhenti.

Tiba tiba sebuah EVO10 berhenti di hadapan Kelisa tadi.

“Ada apa pakcik, kereta rosak ke?” tanya pemuda berusia awal 20an.

“Ha’ah rosak” jawap pakcik tu ringkas.

“Okay, camni pakcik, saya ada tali nanti saya ikat kat kereta saya dan saya tarik kereta pakcik sampai tol” pemuda yang baik hati itu memberi idea.

“Woraiitt gak tu. Tapi, nanti kalau pakcik rasa kamu bawa laju, pakcik akan hon dan bagi high beam.”

“Ok pakcik” pemuda bersetuju dengan cadangan orang tua itu.

Selesai kerja mengikat, pemuda itu pun memandu keretanya dengan berhati-hati. Selepas beberapa kilometre, pakcik tadi membunyikan hon dan bagi high beam…pemuda itu memperlahankan kenderaannya.

Tak semena-mena lalu sebuah Ferrari, lalu memperlahankan kenderaan dan tekan minyak berulang kali seperti mengajak pemilik EVO10 untuk berlumba.

Jiwa anak muda pantang dicabar. Apa lagi, dia pun tekan minyak rapat ke lantai dengan usaha mengerjar Ferrari tersebut. Oleh kerana sudah naik angin, hon dan high beam dari kereta Kelisa di belakang sudah tak tak dipedulikannya.

Kebetulan masa itu ada speed trap di bawah jambatan.

“Dah melampau ni…” polis yang memegang alat perangkap had laju lantas menghubungi rakan-rakan yang membuat sekatan di hadapan.

“Ada tiga buah kereta sedang berlumba dengan kelajuan melebihi 200 KMJ.”

“Roger, bagi nombor pendaftaran” kawannya meminta butiran.

“Sebuah FERRARI merah WXX.., Sebuah EVO10 biru BXX dan sebuah lagi kalau saya cakap kau orang mesti tak percaya…sebuah KELISA silver tengah cucuk angin, dia bagi hon dan high beam nak cuba potong EVO10…”

Polis itu Buta....